Browsed by
Author: admin

Home Renovations Four

Home Renovations Four

My family recently made an affordable purchase on a new house, thanks to the ongoing downturn in the housing market. While we managed to stay within our budget, the house itself is quite old and requires significant renovations. Nonetheless, I am thrilled to have the freedom to design and customise the house according to my preferences. As an adept interior designer, I possess a solid understanding of the fundamentals, although I acknowledge that I am not an expert in the field.

Our renovation journey begins with the laundry room, followed by the bathrooms, and then the kitchen. These areas are the ones with the most intricate plumbing requirements, necessitating the involvement of a plumber. Consequently, I cannot simply design these spaces as I please. Instead, I must collaborate with experts who will handle the essential infrastructure, allowing me to work around it. Consequently, these rooms will require more internal work compared to spaces like the bedrooms and dining room.

To gather ideas for our house, I have been exploring online platforms that showcase the work of laundry room designers. Since we acquired the house at a reasonable price, we have some remaining budget that we can allocate towards these enhancements. It is important to me that the house looks beautiful and inviting for when we host our friends and family. Therefore, we have decided to delay our housewarming event until all the renovations are completed.

In addition to finding a laundry room designer, I have been diligently researching the finest professional laundry renovations Melbourne has to offer. Our trendy city is teeming with talented individuals, resulting in a plethora of outstanding design work. I have scoured the internet, visited showrooms, and attended design art shows to explore different concepts. Additionally, my designer friends have been instrumental in guiding me toward reputable firms and companies that can assist with our project.

Given the age of the house, there is undoubtedly a substantial amount of work ahead of us before we can comfortably invite guests over. However, as we embark on this renovation journey as a family, we aim to enjoy the process. While I am particularly excited about designing my own bedroom, it is crucial to prioritise the central areas of the house for now. With perseverance and dedication, we are confident that our vision for the house will be realised, creating a beautiful and welcoming space for all.

Pediatric Podiatry Eternity

Pediatric Podiatry Eternity

“So, even though we’re in the Goopie, a place of eternal happiness and joy, we still have to work?”

“That’s right,” said Mike, the architect of this neighbourhood in the Goopie. “We found that humans tend to get depressed if they don’t have something to do. We pair humans with their perfect job so that they will never be dissatisfied. Sometimes, that job aligns with what the human did in their life on Earth. Other times, it’s something completely different.”

Mike and Elena walked through the Goopie neighbourhood, past all the shops run by people whose lives on Earth were over. There was an odd number of frozen yogurt places, Elena noticed. She’d never really liked frozen yogurt, but apparently, it was actually super popular on Earth.

“So, what’s my job?” Elena asked.

“You were very easy,” Mike said. “Since you loved your job as a pediatric foot specialist based in Cheltenham, we figured that continuing to work as a foot doctor for the rest of eternity would make you happiest.”

“Right,” Elena said. “That makes sense. I was a foot doctor on Earth and I absolutely loved my job. I love helping people with their disgusting foot issues. Nothing better than helping cure gross foot fungus!”

“What a weird way to phrase that!” Mike said. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re happy!”

Elena felt sick. She’d suspected ever since Mike explained the idea of the Goopie that she wasn’t supposed to be there. She hadn’t lived a horrible life, but she’d always assumed she would be going to the Bapie anyway. But this confirmed it. She was there by mistake.

The day Elena died, she had been at a pediatric podiatry office, but only to pick up her nephew Todd after his appointment to get orthoheel sandals. The truth was that she hated podiatry and anything to do with it. Feet were totally gross. Being a pediatric podiatrist for the rest of eternity wasn’t joyful – it was torture!

She wasn’t sure what to do. She couldn’t say anything, otherwise, Mike would know that she didn’t belong and send her straight to the Bapie. No, she had to find someone who could teach her to be a good person, so that she could stay – as long as she could find a way out of being a professional foot specialist.

Moon Home Purchase

Moon Home Purchase

It is quite amazing the feats that we as people have managed to achieve. I mean, if I told anyone that I would be buying property on the moon in the next seven years, they probably would have encouraged me to get psychological help. But yet here I am, looking at property listings for places on the moon.

The addresses would be a bit confusing if not accompanied by the photos of the properties though. This is because for some reason the government decided to grab many of the names that are down on Earth and just duplicate them onto the moon. 

Since travelling to the moon takes a while and a decent amount of money, I felt it would be best to hire a conveyancer on the moon to help me finalise the buying process. I found a conveyancing firm based in Sandringham (the moon version) which was close to a property I wanted to purchase, so long as there were no issues.

After chatting with the firm, I felt they were a perfect fit for me and they sounded like they could take care of the legal end of buying my dream home, no matter the planet it was on. They checked out the property I was considering, helped me finalise my purchase, and just like that I owned a little chunk of the moon.

I was so glad that the firm had set up on the moon, as it would have been a lot harder to have the confidence to buy there without some good conveyancing. St Kilda was where I grew up down here on Earth, but I was confident I was going to make great memories up on the moon. Perhaps I would even meet the right guy or gal to settle down with and have a family. 

I had a bittersweet farewell party with my family and friends, loaded up the space truck with my items and boarded the rocket towards my new home. At least it shouldn’t be too long before I see Mum and Dad again, since they plan to retire on the moon too. For now, though, I’ll be on my own.

Drain Home Reveal

Drain Home Reveal

All night, Mike thought about his problem and how he was going to fix it. He wasn’t sure if he was crazy due to lack of sleep or just out of options, but he was about to do something risky and against the mini-men law. He had decided the only way out of this was to reveal himself to his roommate and beg for his home in the bathroom drain to be spared. 

He went to the kitchen to find Jazine eating breakfast and jumped down onto the table in front of them. Jazine screamed and fell backwards in their seat in shock. 

Mike hesitated a bit before introducing himself and told his roommate that he was sorry he had caused issues for their house. He admitted that he built a house inside the sink drain, which had likely led to their blocked sewer. Melbourne people luckily were not strangers to the weird and wonderful, so Jazine picked themself up off the ground and looked at Mike. 

After a bit, they asked if Mike was a mini man and he confirmed that he was, but was surprised they knew what he was. Jazine explained that they had always been into folklore and so they had read about his kind in those stories. As they opened their mouth to ask Mike more, there was a knock at the door. The woman who knocked said that she was part of the professional drain cleaning team from Melbourne that was called in to fix the blocked bathroom sink. Jazine facepalmed and said that they forgot they were coming in all the commotion. 

Mike panicked and asked what Jazine was going to do now. Jazine said they weren’t sure and felt overwhelmed, but they’d try to get her to leave as they didn’t want to destroy Mike’s drain house. Together, they’d have to come up with a plan so that it all worked out for both of them.

Magic Kitchen #2

Magic Kitchen #2

Elara couldn’t believe the sight of the new kitchen coming into place right before her eyes. This was a difficult type of magic, and she had never tried it before, so it was surprising to her how quickly and easily it all came together. Maybe this really was her true calling. Maybe all those years she had spent secretly wanting to be a kitchen designer had somehow created this magical ability within herself and it was finally becoming a reality – she could be the best kitchen designer in all of Australia. The owner of the showrooms, still reeling from the incident with the trolls, came over to Elara and called her into her office.

“I have a proposition for you,” the showroom owner said. Here was her chance; Elara was about to be enlisted as a kitchen designer. All her dreams were about to come true. “I want you to join our team as a professional for bathroom design,” the showroom owner said.

Elara could barely contain her disappointment. A bathroom renovator? But she had just shown her prowess in kitchen renovations. Those were two completely different things! Bathrooms were full of tiles and cabinets and were often cramped and lacking space. Kitchens were beautiful, light places filled with innovative ideas and gorgeous wafts of food drifting through the air.

“I thought that after my efforts you would want me as a kitchen designer, or something in the kitchen realm at the very least,” Elara said.

The showroom owner frowned and shook her head. “No, not at all. We have many kitchen designers already, and they are very good at what they do. It doesn’t matter how quickly they do it, so long as they get it done. Speed is not a factor in our working process here. When it comes to bathrooms, however,” the showroom owner continued, “we offer some of the most affordable bathroom renovations Melbourne has, and we’re currently short on a bathroom designer. Since we need someone to make up for all of that lost work, we could really use your services to get it done quickly and put our bathrooms on display.”

Elara thought about this proposition for a minute. Was it the perfect job? No, it wasn’t. Kitchen design was where her heart was. Bathroom design sure would be fun, but she was still in school, anyway. She wouldn’t really have time for a job while she was doing magic. For now, her kitchen design dreams would have to remain just that.

The Glass Whisperer

The Glass Whisperer

The wind howled outside as rain came crashing down onto the roof above me. I sighed and eyed the whiskey bottle on the table – sure, it was only 3:00 pm, but it had been a quiet day, and things weren’t likely to pick up anytime soon. 

Taking in the dank smells of my shoddy rental office, I leaned back in my chair and threw my legs up on the table, then grabbed the whiskey bottle and flicked the lid away. As the amber liquid kissed my lips, I heard a bang. 

I was certainly used to those sorts of noises, with the building prone to strange sounds and storms a regular occurrence above the Melbourne office. There was something different about this one, though. Not quite a bang at all actually…

A knock.

Unusual…

“Come in,” I shouted over the raging storm.

Slowly, the door opened to reveal a timid man drenched in rain, wringing a hat in his hands. “Are you the–”

“Glass Whisperer?” I interrupted. “Sure am. Expert detective for mysteries of the balustrade, window or residential glazing nature.” Noticing how dark it was in the room, I motioned toward the switch by the door. “Flick the light on, would ya?”

As the man turned on the light, I put down the bottle of whiskey and instead reached for a pack of cigarettes on the desk. I pulled one from the pack, toying with it in my fingers. I didn’t smoke the damn things – just kept them around to look cool. 

Inviting the man to sit across from me, I extended my hand. “Melanie Callahan, Glass Detective,” I said as we shook. “How can I help? Having trouble with some glass balustrade installation? Melbourne has had a lot of bloody balustrades lately.”

“No, no, nothing of the sort,” said the man. “It’s my father’s will, you see. My pa was an artist, and he left me one of his most famous works. A glass installation. Before the will could be distributed, however, someone smashed it to bits. I want to know who did this to my father’s pride and joy.”

“I understand,” I said with a brisk nod. “Well, I’m no Benny Blank, but I think I can get to the bottom of this case.”

Beyond the Windows

Beyond the Windows

When I returned to the office, I was the only employee left. As I looked around at all the empty desks, I couldn’t help but feel a little stung. Why hadn’t the boss chosen me for whatever was going on in the conference room? 

Looking into the reflection of those dark, tinted windows, I wondered what could possibly be going on in there. What was worth hiding with premium window tinting?

Suddenly, the door to the conference room opened out toward me. 

“Enter, Teddy,” said an ominous voice. 

I looked around, wondering who the voice could have been referring to. Seeing no one, I realised it must have been me. “But… my name is Fredward,” I said. 

There was silence for a moment before the voice spoke again. “Then enter, Fredward.”

So enter I did. Perhaps it was foolish to do as the voice suggested, given how all of my coworkers had disappeared, but I needed to know what was in that room. I’d sworn the journalist’s oath that I would get to the bottom of this mystery. I’d tried the conventional way – breaking and entering into an office window tinting business near Melbourne, but that had backfired. I was desperate, so… enter I did. 

Inside, the conference room appeared just as I had always known it – dozens of chairs set in rows, with a big whiteboard against the wall closest to the door. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, except for the high-quality window film that had been placed over the glass.

After a moment of searching the dark room, I finally found something odd: a trap door in the back corner. It had been flung open, revealing a ladder that descended into complete darkness. 

Did I dare go down? I think you know the answer. As a former student of investigative journalism, I was bound by code to do so. I took the first step down, wondering what awaited me at the bottom. Finally, I’d know the truth about this whole thing.

Business solar solutions

Business solar solutions

You start a business thinking you’re being savvy and your ‘own’ boss. The reality of it is that you’re lumped with bills and stress. I spend more time trying to find ways to reduce costs and improve operational efficiency, than I do actually focusing on my business. 


The biggest struggle I’ve had with my business is managing running costs. We do all our own manufacturing and admin, in-house. It takes a lot of energy to power our warehouse, and by the end of the month I’m always finding ourselves lumped with a huge energy bill. I’m also noticing a societal shift in the way people feel about companies. More people are neglecting businesses that do not enforce a proper environmental plan. Not that any of our customers know this, but our carbon footprint is huge at the moment.

After some research, I discovered that commercial solar panels were the best way to reduce our carbon emissions and increase the positive impact we have on the environment. I knew that making the switch to renewable energy was going to be tough. I mean, how does a commercial solar panel installation cost? There was no way it would be affordable upfront. I assume that it would be a big job to install solar panels.

I spoke to a few of my fellow business-owner friends to gauge their thoughts on solar panels. They all basically said the same thing; which was to not get bogged down by the upfront installation costs, but instead focus on the long term investment. I suppose they were right. A one off big bill is definitely a lot better than a monthly expensive bill.
The next few weeks were spent researching all the best commercial solar power companies Melbourne businesses love. Eventually I decided to bite the bullet and get it all done. I’ll tell you what? Once I made the switch, I never looked back. I’ve now reduced my energy bills drastically, and can run my business with improved economic efficiency.

Electrical emergency

Electrical emergency

Moving house can be so stressful at times. You inspect a house once or twice and expect everything to be in perfect working order. Then it comes time to move in and you discover how much things actually need a bit of work. We moved in two weeks ago and I don’t think I’ve had a single day where I’ve not been running around trying to make small maintenance fixes to this home. I’m lucky that I’m a bit of a handyman because I have no idea how things would have gotten done.

I’ve recently started noticing a few issues with the electrics. Things keep faulting, and I’d like to set up my TV as a wall mount. I’m going to have to take a trip down to the hardware store. Bayside is a nice place to live as it’s got every amenity nearby. If I had to drive to a hardware store in my old area, I’d have needed to drive for at least half an hour. The locality of everything has really helped me get things done a lot more efficiently. Rather than having to lose chunks of my day in driving time, I can pop to the local hardware store and get everything I need.

The first time I walked into this store I couldn’t help but to notice the next to endless range of electrical supplies. It was overwhelming at first, but now I’m really starting to embrace it. This store had the best quality electrical supplies for sale. Cheltenham may have many hardware stores, but this one really had a range like no other. I was able to purchase everything I needed in one visit. My trolley was full of tools, electrical supplies, safety supplies, and more. I felt like a kid in a candy store.

It’s rather amusing; I used to always mock my dad because of his love for hardware stores, but now I finally get it. Hardware stores are the key to the impossible. If something seems impossible to build or fix, a hardware store will have the solution.

Sarah’s Alien Advocate

Sarah’s Alien Advocate

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who worked in the medical industry, named Sarah. Sarah and her boyfriend, Tim, were on the hunt for their first home. They had saved up for many years and were thrilled to finally begin their property search around Melbourne. However, as they began to search, they quickly realised just how competitive the market was. How would they ever find a home that fit their budget and specific needs?

One day, as the young couple continued their search for Melbourne property, they noticed a strange object above them in the sky. They couldn’t believe their eyes as a UFO descended from the heavens, landing right in front of their car. The UFO was piloted by a group of friendly aliens who had come to Earth with a mission to help fix the planet’s housing crisis. The aliens explained that they had studied everything about the local property market from the Buyer’s Advocates for Melbourne Property Guild.

Delighted that they had been chosen by the aliens, Sarah and Tim watched as the extraterrestrial beings used their advanced technology to scan the city of Melbourne for the perfect property. Within minutes, the aliens found a property that was perfect for the couple, at a bargain price, too! Not only that, but it was also in their dream suburb of Sandringham. Expert buyer’s advocate businesses had really trained these aliens well, it seemed.

Of course, Sarah and Tim immediately made an offer on the property. Thanks to the expertise of the aliens, they managed to secure it without any trouble.

As the young couple settled into their dream home, they couldn’t help but feel immense gratitude for the help they had received from the aliens. Without them, they never would have found such a perfect home.

Having completed their mission, the aliens returned to their own planet. Although they had not solved Earth’s housing crisis, they had solved the housing crisis for one couple, and that was good enough for them.