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Taken For A Bride

Taken For A Bride

I’ve noticed this thing lately where people are like, why are brides under so much pressure these days? Why is there so much weight of expectation? Blah blah blah. You want my hot take? Get over it. If you’re a bride, you have the choice to wear whatever you want, to roll up for the ceremony whenever you want, and to not even have a ceremony if that’s your bag. Take some responsibility.

What I’m really trying to say is that all this supposed weight of expectation seems to come from within brides themselves. Honestly, when was the last time you thought to yourself, man, the calligraphy on these name cards is not quite right; they should have gone with the bronze ink instead of the violet. Or, these miniature cakes would have been better presented with candied lime than with Persian fairy floss. Or, she should have spent an extra grand on her dress, and her shoes (which I can’t even see) aren’t nearly impractical enough.

Okay. That’s my rant. I just think people getting married could stand to pay more attention to things like marquee hire. For events near Melbourne, it’s kind of important to get this right due to the inclement weather. If people put all their time and energy into finding ridiculous shoes at the expense of wet-weather solutions… well, you know what happens. Guests come away from the whole affair feeling much like I am right now: ill-tempered and sceptical about the union in general.

In case you can’t tell, I’ve just come from a wedding that was quite the debacle. The bride got herself into such a flap in the lead-up that she pulled all her bridesmaids away from wedding duties, with the result being that the maid of honour couldn’t liaise with the wedding marquee hire company. Melbourne not being at its sunniest, this was never going to be a good idea, but the bride saw her last-minute dress alterations as the most important thing to be dealt with. 

The dress looked nice, but not nice enough to justify everyone getting drenched.