The Buro Group

The wind howled outside as rain came crashing down onto the roof above me. I sighed and eyed the whiskey bottle on the table – sure, it was only 3:00 pm, but it had been a quiet day, and things weren’t likely to pick up anytime soon. 

Taking in the dank smells of my shoddy rental office, I leaned back in my chair and threw my legs up on the table, then grabbed the whiskey bottle and flicked the lid away. As the amber liquid kissed my lips, I heard a bang. 

I was certainly used to those sorts of noises, with the building prone to strange sounds and storms a regular occurrence above the Melbourne office. There was something different about this one, though. Not quite a bang at all actually…

A knock.

Unusual…

“Come in,” I shouted over the raging storm.

Slowly, the door opened to reveal a timid man drenched in rain, wringing a hat in his hands. “Are you the–”

“Glass Whisperer?” I interrupted. “Sure am. Expert detective for mysteries of the balustrade, window or residential glazing nature.” Noticing how dark it was in the room, I motioned toward the switch by the door. “Flick the light on, would ya?”

As the man turned on the light, I put down the bottle of whiskey and instead reached for a pack of cigarettes on the desk. I pulled one from the pack, toying with it in my fingers. I didn’t smoke the damn things – just kept them around to look cool. 

Inviting the man to sit across from me, I extended my hand. “Melanie Callahan, Glass Detective,” I said as we shook. “How can I help? Having trouble with some glass balustrade installation? Melbourne has had a lot of bloody balustrades lately.”

“No, no, nothing of the sort,” said the man. “It’s my father’s will, you see. My pa was an artist, and he left me one of his most famous works. A glass installation. Before the will could be distributed, however, someone smashed it to bits. I want to know who did this to my father’s pride and joy.”

“I understand,” I said with a brisk nod. “Well, I’m no Benny Blank, but I think I can get to the bottom of this case.”

I was just thinking about this crazy hail storm a couple of years back, when my skylight got smashed in. There was broken glass and (essentially) a snowball all over the tax invoices I’d been organising at my desk. It scared the life out of my cat!

Why was this on my mind? Well, it came back to me when I accidentally cracked the bathroom mirror today while trying to change the light globe… yeah, I’m coordinated. I was trying to remember the name of the glazier that dealt with my skylight.

If this kind of thing is going to be happening every year or so, I could be getting more solidly acquainted with glass repair professionals, so maybe I should put out a request for recommendations. Who’s your go-to for residential glazing services, Melbourne? Are any of you as clumsy as me, such that you need to have a go-to in the first place?

My luck with glass surfaces has never been anything to write home about. I remember when I moved into my first apartment, and accidentally sent a heavy frying pan flying straight into the glass kitchen splashback. In my defence, this occurred during a party that was on the lively side, and… well, I can’t recall the rationale of waving a flying pan around, but I’m sure it was a reasonable one.

Then there was the time that I got in the way of my aunt’s glass balustrade installation, and took a chip out of one the panels before it had even been installed. From memory, I was riding my bike in the backyard and somehow got up a bit too much speed as I approach the outdoor staircase.

One of these days, I’m going to gain skills in managing my limbs around breakable surfaces. Evidently, I’m not quite there yet. But that’s why we have glass experts to call on, isn’t it?