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Category: Housing

Kitchen Renovation = Stress Relief

Kitchen Renovation = Stress Relief

Renovating a kitchen is probably the best stress relief there ever was. Need to release all your anger? Kneel down and start ripping up some floorboards with your bare hands. I guarantee, you’ll be feeling a lot better by the end of it. I also quite enjoyed taking a hammer to the counter, which isn’t usually part of the process but this time had to happen because their tools weren’t working. I dunno, I just found it to be a lot more fun.

I could do this for a job. In fact, I bet if there are people who fit commercial ovens, they must all be incredibly chill. You have to wreck a lot of stuff before you even get close to putting in a kitchen, so at least they know that when they come into work, they always have that waiting for them.

Come to think of it, there are probably a few jobs of that sort. Imagine being in control of a wrecking ball…now THAT appeals to me. Or being the guy who presses the button that sends the buildings tumbling down, due to them being blown up at the base. Probably aren’t a huge amount of those jobs going, and maybe they have some sort of rota system that states who gets to press the final button, but dang…that’d be great.

Then again, renovations have that extra element of being able to not only rip up a whole load of stuff, but also to see the place when it’s shiny and new. I’ve enjoyed that part as well, even though I’m no professional. Such is the life of someone who does renovations and installs commercial deep fryers and all the big stuff: satisfaction in the morning as you tear out the old, and parental pride as you look upon the new. All done by your own hand.

Is it the best job in the world? It has to be in the top 5 at least, right behind the wrecking ball person.


Give Me Your Recommendation, House-Bot

Give Me Your Recommendation, House-Bot

Automation is getting silly. We are entering an age…of silliness. Just, terrible silliness all around. Terrible, awful, shameful silliness. I mean, I work as a landscape surveyor, and I like to think it’s a job that requires something of a human touch, but…what would I know? Perhaps in a lab somewhere over at Lawrence Corp they’re developing a surveyor bot, just like they’re developing a bot for everything else. It’ll do my job at double the speed, with 0% mistakes, and it won;t ask for any pay besides the electricity needed to make it do the work. And then I’ll get a job growing rare mushrooms, until I’m supplanted by the mushroom bot and I’ll just go into retirement. Where I will be taken care of by the retirement bot.

Today was the announcement of the property bot, the robot companion that finds you the perfect home. Uh…we already have that service in Melbourne. Property advocates┬áis what they are called, and that’s also their JOB. Now, there isn’t any confirmation that this robot does anything particularly revolutionary. It’s not going to be stealing jobs any time soon. Still, I’ve always thought of people in the property industry as having very unique positions. It takes a human touch to look at a home, think of your client and say…”this is the one. They will like this a great deal. It fits.”

Right now I think the bot is just a search engine that you can talk to, like you’re getting a very stupid person to google some homes for you. I’m certainly not one to raise a panic over such foolishness. Melbourne’s best buyers advocates are probably secure in their jobs for now, especially since the bot is pretty ugly and people would much rather talk to people about a serious decision like this. But when cold logic overcomes human warmth? Well…we’ll see.


Mystery, Intrigue, Conveyancing…

Mystery, Intrigue, Conveyancing…

It’d be really nice if someone broke into our home tonight. Not in a BAD way, of course. Maybe just a broken lock and some stolen documents. Just enough to really kick off a good mystery, to alleviate this mundane part of married life that none of the books saw fit to warn me about.

The kids have left home, the husband and I are both in good jobs, everything is peachy, and I hate it. I’ve been reading a lot- it helped me with a spot of insomnia, and now it’s just a habit before bed- and they’re such exciting stories! The mysteries are the best, and they’ve put some ideas into my head about what life is supposed to be like.

For example, we’re moving home soon, and we thought we’d seek out the services of some conveyancers. Richmond is our local branch, but Harold suggested that we might want to think about looking into the place we want to live, Mentone. Conveyancers in Mentone?? I was shocked and suspicious. What could this mean? Is Harold having a secret affair with a woman in Mentone? It’s the most likely scenario, but perhaps the conspiracy runs deeper, to the very conveyancing lawyers themselves. Maybe conveyancing documents have gone missing around the local area, with the thief leaving a distinctive calling card of a yellow rose at the scene of the crime before retreating to their underground lair from which they pursue their goal of bringing down the property market through subterfuge. And Harold? He’s been living a secret double-life as a gumshoe detective, investigating the mysterious case of the yellow rose thief. And the next target is Richmond conveyancing, which is why he’s suggesting Mentone; to throw the thief off the scent of him being on the scent. And I’m pregnant! And I have a secret twin sister, who has pneumonia!

Oh, it quickens my pulse just thinking about it.


Time for A Real, Expensive Home

Time for A Real, Expensive Home

I love my apartment, but it’s time for a change. I love the views, I love how I’ve had a custom garden added to the balcony and I love how there’s an awesome cafe down below with a guy who has dreadlocks making the coffee (that’s how you know it’s good). I LOVE being up in the air, feeling like I’m queen of Melbourne, and I love my slightly foreign maid…Fettucine? Mariachi? I love my maid though.

Still, there comes a time when things have to change…because you get bored. Daddy set me up in this apartment, but I want something like the mansion. Some really big house, with a garden big enough for me to have my horses, but in the suburbs so I can talk to my neighbours (and preferably spy on them). Daddy says that he has connections in the Melbourne property advocate industry, which is how he got me THIS place. And I got to say, they do some good work. I know my demands can be a little bit…specific, but they excel in that kind of thing. I bet if I went to a property advocate and said that I wanted a three-storey house surrounded by a moat, near the shops and with driveway that sloped at a 70-degree angle, they could hook me up just fine. And I’m not looking for any of that stuff, so that’ll be fine. Although a moat…that’s one thing that Daddy never had, even though I’ve always thought it would be nice. It’s certainly one way to keep out intruders.

Okay, I can keep it on the down low. I’d like a nice house, but not something that needs a lot of work. I want to move in, maybe pick out the furniture myself, but the rest of it needs to be absolutely perfect the day I’m in. I’m not waiting around for people to bang and crash and all that construction silliness. So basically, some Melbourne buyers advocate has quite the challenge in for them. I think they’ll be up to it, personally.