Local authorities have been unable to locate a six foot tall “Yowie” that has reportedly been destroying property in the south east suburbs. They did however, arrest local 42 year old Gary Jacob for the destruction. Despite his cries of innocence, the Oakleigh man was still taken to station for questioning.
Early Sunday morning neighbours stated that they saw Gary dressed as a “bigfoot-like creature” stumbling into his home, with broken glass and timber trailing his ute. Neighbours say that he has always had a penchant for trouble making, but this was too far. Gary, a former factory worker, had recently been fired from his job, and decided to take it out of the local property. Up to 34 homes have been affected by what some have dubbed Hurricane Yowie, with estimates of thousands of dollars worth of timber and aluminium door being destroyed by Gary.
The Oakleigh man is still sticking to his story, and states that he knew that there was a Yowie around the area because it came up to his house one day. “It didn’t smash my doors because I’d seen him before, and knew what to do about him. That’s why my doors have been spared”. He gave a recommendation to a local aluminium door replacement company in Melbourne, “out of the goodness of my heart”.
Authorities aren’t convinced by Gary’s story, and have stated that he willingly destroyed hundreds of windows, in an act of “stunningly bizarre vandalism”. Searches to find the Yowie have been unsuccessful, but police are confident that a conviction will be laid against Gary for his monstrous crime.
This isn’t bad news for all though; there has been a marked increase in for window repairs in Melbourne ever since the attacks started. It is unknown at this time whether not that influenced Gary’s decision making. Still unknown is the reason behind the definitely unique choice of uniform.