The Not-So-Magical Woodlands

The Not-So-Magical Woodlands

Buy a summer home with woodlands, they said. It will be whimsical, they said.

By ‘they’, I am of course referring to the estate agents, who must’ve thought they’d gotten a real sucker in the office. We DID look through the woodlands out the back, and they seemed to be quite nice. Bit random, but it’s not like we really had to do anything except have a picnic in there occasionally.

Oh no. Oh no indeed. Not only is there SO much maintenance- to an area where we don’t even live for most of the year, mind you- but it’s also a huge pain to clear, and extremely expensive. So if anyone ever needs the numbers to some well-rated tree removal people in Oakleigh, I’d be happy to hook you up, because we’ve been doing quite a lot of business recently. Oh, we’ve become quite close, all the professional outdoorsy people who keep these woodlands from taking over our summer home. Ideally I want to sell it off, but no one wants to take it because they all make smarter decisions about real estate than we do.

To be fair, it’s a really nice home. We didn’t really want the land, but we didn’t think it would be this much work, or so much money to maintain.

Tried cutting down a few of the trees myself. Got about one-and-a-half ways through the first ones and thought I’d give up on THAT little plan. Besides, it was exhausting enough just doing the one, and I’m not a professional arborist so I don’t know how to get rid of them permanently. The way I chop them down, it leaves a bunch of stumps all around the place that’ll probably just grow back in enough time.

So that’s us, with a beautiful summer home and several acres of horrible woodlands that would require a legion of Melbourne’s best tree lopping people before it’s useful for anything. Hooray for land ownership.


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