Mum and Dad taught me to always tell the truth, which makes life really boring. Whenever I want to spice up some juicy office gossip, or tell people that I went hiking on the weekend instead of watching Neat-Flix and eating caramel popcorn…their words ring in my ears. And grudgingly, it is true. Honesty IS always the best policy.
Except if you can get around it by carefully-planned half-truths, in which case carefully-planned half-truths are definitely the best policy. They’re the most fun, as well. For example, everyone in the office now thinks I drive a Bentleigh, which just so happens to be my favourite car. I just mentioned off-hand to Rian that I was looking for reliable car servicing in Bentleigh, and since Rian is a little bit deaf in his left ear, he thought I said that I was looking for reliable car servicing people for my Bentleigh. He repeated what he’d heard in disbelief, loud enough for everyone in the breakroom to hear. I stammered a little bit but then I just said, rather simply: “Yes. I do indeed require Bentleigh car services. Bentleigh is what I said.”
I needed to say no more for clarification. No one has straight-up asked me if I actually do have a Bentleigh, so now I’m the talk of the office. People keep asking if they can see her, but I say no…I’d rather not show anyone. My Bentleigh is very special (because it doesn’t exist). I’m very sensitive about my car (because it’s not real). I’ve been saving up for a Bentleigh for ages (that one is actually true).
As you can see, I’ve managed to dodge most of these so far, but if it ever comes to lying, I’ll have to come clean. Actually, I just need car servicing for my 2003 Toyota Corolla…in Bentleigh. Auto electrical if at all possible. But no one yet needs to know that…